CATCHALL/OVERFLOW FOR MEMES

[comingupexplody]

Thread getting too steamy for public? Did the meme start captcha-ing? Bring the party here and we'll keep it going!

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Re: for tekhartha

[tekhartha]

[from here]

Indeed. You really were quite the mess once I had finished with you.

[Somehow, he manages to prevent the sentiment from sounding callous.]

[comingupexplody]

[... oh god. It's a good thing nobody can see how crimson his fucking face is right now.]

We-- well! What can I say! I know what I like!

[He cackles, and refuses to give the Omnic even an ounce of credit here.]

[tekhartha]

[cheerily] In that case, you must like me a lot.

[A small pause- should he say it?

... he's going to say it.]

Or my cock, at least.

[WELL he has never said that word out loud before this is very new.]

[comingupexplody]

[WHOA

OH

Jamie literally sputters out loud at that, and Zenyatta might hear wind whistling past the phone as he nearly drops it to the floor-- he catches it at the last minute.]

Ye-- yeah, yeah, that's it, hahahahaha! Y'got me there!

[tekhartha]

[And right away Zenyatta gives that bright, silvery laugh of his that manages to sound completely and utterly innocent.]

I believe I have had you all along, Jamie.

[comingupexplody]

Wha-whaddaya mean by that, huh?!

[tekhartha]

I mean that I need only say the right thing you have you hanging on my every word.

[He makes a thoughtful sound.]

The question is, do you have any objection to the word "cunt"? I should hate to cause offense.

[comingupexplody]

[jaMIE IS ABOUT TEN SECONDS FROM THROWING HIS PHONE INTO THE SUN]

No, I don't have any objection to the word cunt, ya cunt!! 'Specially not from the likes a' you!

[It's meant to sound offensive, but obviously falls terribly flat.]

[tekhartha]

[Make that five seconds.]

Ah, you misunderstand. I am not referring to "cunt" in a general sense- I mean your cunt, specifically. [oh no he's hitting his stride now somebody call the police] Shall I refrain from describing it, Jamie?

[comingupexplody]

[HE'S GOING TO FUCKING KILL ZENYATTA

HE'S JUST DECIDED THAT.]

Why would you wanna describe that anyways? Ha, hahaha ha...! [There's... a weird kind of forced calm there that's utterly failing, giving how loudly he's yelling.] I-- I mean, uh, guess I can't stop ya if you wanna, b-but, yanno...!

[tekhartha]

[okay now Zenyatta has to hold the phone away from his aural sensors because this is Too Much.

As if that's going to stop him.]

Because it is beautiful, Jamie- much like the rest of you. [so. sincere.] I very much enjoyed being inside of you.

[comingupexplody]

[That cracking sound you hear is Jamie accidentally crushing his phone in his prosthetic hand.

Whoops.

The call cuts off there.]

[tekhartha]

[... oh, no. He went too far, didn't he? Zenyatta is mortified, yes, but also distinctly concerned that he might have genuinely insulted Jamie.

Against his better judgement, he resolves to check for himself.

A few minutes later there comes a gentle knocking on Junkrat's door, just as it did the first time he invited himself in.]

Jamieson...?

[comingupexplody]

[The door is flung open with a sharp bang. Clutched in Jamie's robot hand is the remains of his phone-- he evidently accidentally smashed it.

His face is crimson, his expression... well. Mixed. He's not sure if he wants to fistfight the Omnic, or jump his bones.

He reaches out and grabs one of Zenyatta's arms, and drags him unceremoniously into the room, slamming the door shut behind him.]

[tekhartha]

[Of course Junkrat looks either horribly embarrassed or horribly angry, and regardless of whichever it turns out to be Zenyatta is all set with a heartfelt apology to try and soothe him-

- but he doesn't get the chance. Before he can even think about speaking he's whipped into the room. On his feet he might have stood some chance of resisting through his sheer weight alone, but he's caught mid-float and moves as easily as a balloon on a string.]

J-Jamison! [So much for keeping his composure. He stares at the junker, captured hand twitching, almost nervous.]

[comingupexplody]

[Junkrat half-laughs at the sound of that stammering, the sound like sandpaper; he pushes the machine's back against the door roughly, and starts attempting to strip him.]

Looks like I got the upper hand this time, 'eh, bot?

[tekhartha]

[Zenyatta's back slams hard against the door. In the next moment there are hands scrabbling at his hips; there's the sound of fabric straining, metal scuffing metal, and before he knows it his pants are around his ankles.]

Jamie- hold on a moment-- [His voice skips a beat. He's already trying to grab Jamie's shoulders, hands, anything, just to get him to slow down.]

[comingupexplody]

[Jamison gives a growl of frustration when the machine grabs his hands, and he stops short, narrowing his eyes at him.]

What?!

[tekhartha]

[But he does stop, and that is what makes the lasting impression on Zenyatta. He wrangles his tone into something like his usual calm.]

You are quite alright? Not hurt, or angry with me?

[comingupexplody]

[Well, yeah. He's not a creep.

... he doesn't even realize that that particular train of thought implies his belief in Zenyatta's sentience.

He rolls his eyes, grumbling.]

I'm fine! How the hell would you've-- no, no no no, just forget it, awright? I'm fine! Now can we get this show on the road or what?

[tekhartha]

[That, in fact, is what snags on Zenyatta's attention the most; until now he has seemed, for the most part, to be- well- a sex object, there entirely for Jamie's gratification.

This, though... still recovering, he manages a light, almost (but not quite) adoring laugh.]

In that case... please. [He spreads his palms, guiding them down his body as if in display.] Be my guest.

[the real question is will he figure out the modesty panel]